When will...

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I am
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

Lyrics that has always provoked something in me (though that “something” is still obscured). The point is, fundamentally, we are all Mulans, we are not princessess...

#1

I have 45 minutes to put my thoughts into words before i leave to buy pulut for ketupat.

Flashback, my 18-year-old self rejected engineering scholarships to Japan or European countries with a reason that seems ambigous to me now, a reason I told myself that I cannot deal with non-livings, that I cannot talk with machines all day, lie I told myself that I am a people person, pushing me to pursue my current course. 

Now that I am out of my comfort zones, out of my home, far from my family, I am learning myself day by day. How I cherish my me-time wandering in the mall, the many times I browse the airlines website, the fulfilling thoughts of losing myself in the city full of unknown people. That's me now. 

Human and its complexity, how do I deal though? 

Seoul, South Korea 2019

With a hope that there will be Korea 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025,.. and the list goes jk hehe.

I kept this post in my draft for a year before I started writing again today (April 22, 2020). Too bad I can’t remember much at this point of time but nevermind, that’s the purpose of jotting it down here before I turn to complete amnesic🧙🏻

We went to Seoul for 5 days and 4 nights for an annual programme “Tour De Medicine: External, organized by my Diplomatic Exco of MESTA. It was a HUSTLE travelling in a big group of 30. [Take home message 1: Reduce the number of participants to 25 (as if it will make a huge difference😳) and choose only those who are PUNCTUAL. No compromise.) The person-in-charge was on verge of tears, it was not an easy job managing the participants. Me too, some days I got emo thinking of those who we were still wrapping themselves up in the blankets while I had to wait outside in a super cool and breezy weather WITH FLU. Runny nose, chapped lips, holding hand warmers all the time. Being said that, I didn’t capture many photos, nor took an effort to capture a good quality ones.😞

It was during the transition from winter to spring. Not many flowers blooming yet. Locals still wore that thick winter coat. If I'm not mistaken, the highest temperature was at 13 degree, lowest was at 3. We were not expecting that, even locals weren’t because usually it was slightly warmer during the period. Poor fat-deprived people like me. T.T

My fellow Year 2 friends. Batch paling ramai pergi because it was during our mid sem break.

We departed from KLIA2 at 0050 on 30th March, arrived at Incheon International Airport around 8am Korea time. It was a 6-hour flight where I slept most of the time despite the cramped Air Asia Economy class hehe. Then, we boarded the popular Korea Subway to our guesthouse at Ttukseom. I really really love their Subway! Sooo many connecting lines yet still not confusing. Too bad I don’t have pictures of the guestroom. It was convenient for me and my friends, not to confined for an affordable price. No words can’t describe how soothing it was, stepping on the warmed wooden floor after braving the chilly weather for the whole day. Pretty sure my other skin parts were envious of my soles. Wait, the bathroom. Hahahaha. Not that it was filthy. It smelled good, clean and CLEAR. TOO CLEAR. CRYSTAL CLEAR. Don’t know which geniuses came out with the glass door idea as a partition wall in between bathrooms. Ridiculous. Not aesthetic at all. (Take home message 2: Check the bathrooms/toilet IN AND OUT before booking).

WARNING: Please excuse my underdeveloped photography skills. Pics arranged not in orderly manners because I forgot already which day is which. Huhu.

The Starfield library. A library in a mall. Number of people taking photos were higher than those who read haha. Wonder who's gonna read books on the top tier though. 

A cringe-worthy portrait of mine in front of SM Town.😛 I didn't manage to sneak inside. Close already by the time we arrived. ;(

Yang Good Restaurant. I only ate grilled chicken with its side dishes. It was tasty because I didn't pay for it hehe.

Rooftop BBQ Party. By party, I really meant Party. 🤡

1st university stop: Yonsei University🦅

The library. See the eagle statue there? That's Yonsei's symbol - sort of mascot. *sudden sense of belonging rushed in* #ravenclawclan #halfUiTMhalfYonseinow 😆

The building during summer.. Pic taken from Yonsei website. Truly a heaven in the middle of Seoul!

Yonsei accepted our proposal quite at eleventh hour. It was Korea University (KU) who welcomed us first. These two universities are among the top and prestigious unis in Korea. Very competitive I tell you haha. They constantly reminding us to take their sides.😂 #sorryKU

At their affliated university hospital - The Severance Hospital. Definitely a top notch healthcare facility they own!

Mr. Da Vincci The Robotic Assisted Surgery. Proud to mention that PPUiTM owns this too! We also had an opportunity to play with this masterpiece. It was soooo cool!!

In-house garden.. Can see patients relaxing here too.. So calming lah despite in-house pon.. 

My excitement meter outpaced beyond the maximum scale whenever I see this pillar in Kdrama!😭

Fellow groupmates. The in-house game were fun and haraam too😶

Half day tour at Gyeongbokgung Palace

Jangan tanya ni buat apa. 😀

Pic taken by random ahjumma. Dah crop, rotate this is the best I could give. 😔 

All in one photo!

Nak jadi gongjunim tapi pakai Hanbok slave pulak.

2nd university stop: Ewha Women's University

Pergi ambil gambar je kat sini hahak.

Pic from Google.. No appropriate photos from my camera huhu

Hmmm...

3rd university stop: Korea University 🐯

Belajar Anatomy pakai benda ni. Slide to dissect. Cool😔

Third from left is a Malaysian doctor doing a fellowship in Colorectal Surgery. #inspiration

Ok done with the Unis!

The famous Namsan Tower

View from the tower..

Behind that wall is Dongdaemun Grand Plaza.. I bought 80 facemasks which I didn't use even one from here. Pic is Rose LED Garden. People come here to confess😛

Itaewon Mosque. Got a chance to pray here. Toilet kat sini ada paip😭

Uyuuu... Only 1000won per bottle.. An everyday-must-buy!

ya ya.. I will.. 😔 Take home message 3: I NEED TO STEP UP MY PHOTOGRAPHY SKILLS.

Bye! XOXO.

p.s. my new header is credited to Isma . Thanks Isma, thanks for kesian kan me! 😭💓